10 SIGNS YOU'RE BAD IN BED AND DON'T EVEN KNOW IT

Just because you think you’re a sex machine and women say you’ve given them great orgasms, well, doesn’t mean it’s true.

BY DIANA KELLY

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Every man worth his salt wants to be a stud in the sack. And if you’re reading this article, you’ve already taken a step in the right direction toward making sure your partner is satisfied. Of course, you probably clicked on this by accident because you’re unbelievable in the bedroom. But just in case you could use a reality check, we sat down with Emily Morse, sexologist, host of the Sex with Emily podcast, and co-founder of Emily & Tony, to find out what is it you’re doing wrong, and how to fix it so you'll leave her wanting to come back for more.

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1. You skip foreplay

The problem: You come home after thinking about sex all day and try to stick your penis in her right away. She, on the other hand, has not been thinking about sex. She’s been thinking about work, that squabble with her best friend, and what she’s making for dinner. She’s not warmed up, therefore she's not going to enjoy it.

Fix it: “Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay—I can’t say it enough!” Morse says. You may be ready to go the second you get home, but you have to remember, sex is mostly mental for women. They have to be warmed up, physically and mentally. “Most women not only enjoy foreplay, but we need it in order to get aroused before actual intercourse,” Morse says. Foreplay can even start hours before you're through the door. Send her a text about how much you can’t wait to see her or how beautiful she looked this morning. Then when you get home kiss and caress her before you start taking her clothes off. Foreplay isn’t a suggestion; it’s a requirement for most women.  

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2. You don't go down on her

The problem: You’re so excited about having sex or you’re not thinking about her needs, so you weakly lick her clitoris a few times or skip over going down on her altogether. You move straight into intercourse and, similarly to skipping foreplay, she’s not warmed up and therefore doesn’t enjoy sex as much as you do.

Fix it: “Go down on her like you mean it! I mean, really mean it,” Morse says. “If you really want her to enjoy sex, then you need to enjoy performing oral sex on her. Just like nothing is sexier than a woman who enjoys giving a blow job, nothing is sexier than a man who enjoys giving oral pleasure.” Only about 25 to 30% of women orgasm through intercourse, and most of these women need (and likely want) clitoral stimulation in addition to intercourse.

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3. You don't touch her after sex

The problem: You roll over after sex and tell her, “Sorry, babe, it’s just too hot,” then keep a foot of distance between you and her. Maybe you chat with her for a bit before falling asleep. Either way, you're not up for cuddling. Or, maybe you are, but you’ve got a 60-second timer counting down in your head and never touch her for longer than that. She’s noticeably annoyed, or at this point you’ve both gotten used to the fact that you just don’t really touch after sex.

Fix it: If you’re not someone who likes to touch after sex, start off small and make some kind of physical contact a normal part of your after-sex routine. Scratch her back for a little while and lay a little closer than normal. Once you’ve scratched her back for a while, move on to a closer touch. Cuddling after sex will bring the two of you closer together. The most successful relationships have ties to after-sex cuddling, according to new research out of the University of Toronto—Mississauga. “The way you approach your partner after sex is really important to how you approach your relationship in general,” Morse says.